As I’m getting closer and closer to the completion of my 30th rotation around the sun (strike through, now that I’ve completed the 30th rotation… WHAT?! Right?), I have been thinking a lot about passion, excitement and what parts of my 20’s I want to take with me. There’s a LOT that I want to leave behind, all the insecurity and drama… good riddance, but one thing that popped into my mind recently was “I’m obsessed…” and I realized that it had been so long since I’d thought that, with excitement, about something I was adding to my life.
In high school and college it was something I thought pretty often… a new hot guy from the disney channel all over my binder, a song that I couldn’t stop listening to, a book that I couldn’t stop reading about… but it dwindled over the years. A mix of shame about being girly, cliche and positively dramatic about things and feeling like I had to “grow up” took the thought out of my regular rotation.
How sad, no?
Today, when that lovely, “oh man, I am ob.sessed” (read that emphasis on the first syllable, yeahhhhh) thought popped back into my head, with it’s brilliance and excitement it was like seeing a best friend from years before and reconnecting like no time had passed at all. I didn’t realize I had missed my excitement, I didn’t realize I was keeping it down.
In my thirty first year and beyond I want to bring that energy, give her space at the table to sigh with a smile on her face and her chin in her hands, to get wide eyed and talk fast when something sparks interest, I want to give the girly, cliche, positively dramatic (and sometimes basic) part of me a rhinestone decorated chair at the table. She totally deserves to be here, she makes life a lot more fun.
Current things I’m ob.sessing over lately: hormone supporting foods, lunar cycles, astrology, tarot cards, tarot porn (pictures of daily tarot spreads on white/marble tables with crystals), pink things (never would have thought), colored pens, writing in my journal about my sabbatical, belly dancing, line dances, my collection of used matches, reading reading reading, nutella, wearing black on black on blue… always
What have you been ob.sessed with lately?