June I was all over the place, July I slowed down a little bit. Spent time reading during lunches or walking on the beach if I could find a parking spot. Lisa and I had a photo adventure that started with professional head shots, went on to talking at Mount Helix, then to cliff gazing at Sunset Cliffs and then a beer with a view in O.B.
Celebrated a friend’s birthday downtown after walking around the Pride Festival.
A lot of driving the coast after work and on the weekends to get away from the traffic of the races and Comicon.
A lot of tears, but also a lot of smiles and laughs. July was full in a different way than June. It was a little more honest, a little less about distraction.
August, you’re the planning month this year. Let’s get it.
Today’s Monday Intention is a little different. A friend recently gave me an assignment. Every day I would do one thing I have been putting off that will help me with my dream pursuits. I could post blogs, or learn photo editing or put a services listing on craigslist for my organizational services… I just had to challenge myself.
For the past three days I’ve stuck with learning different things in Lightroom. I started with re-learning some basics and then moved on to the things that really confused me like the difference between clarity and sharpening and hue vs saturation vs luminance. Today I taught myself the heal and clone key. Then I put all of my google taught lessons together and took to editing a picture.
I still have so much to learn and so much practice to do, but it doesn’t seem as impossible or confusing as it did just three days ago.
So this week I intend to keep challenging myself daily. The challenges don’t have to take that long, but I will learn something new by doing.
According to this quote, it’s time for a change. Oh hello there anxiety, so glad you’ve come to join us. Moving on… I’ve made small ones here and there over the last few months but they were wimpy in comparison to what I really want. What I really want has higher stakes and it scares me. It has me wondering how I’ll pay rent a month or two from now when the meager savings I have runs out and there are absolutely no jobs to be found in the world. None. Or so those demons in the head say.
Of course, those decisions, those choices, those changes are the ones that also make me feel alive when I think about them working out. When I silence the naysayer, the do righter, the play it safer in my head, these dreams are what make me feel alive. They give me hope.
And then the moment of silence from the naggers goes away and I get scared again, very, very scared. And I feel small, and I wonder how I could ever pull it off, and I tell myself I can’t so I should just stick with what I’ve got even though I’m miserable. And why am I miserable? So many people would be crying with gratitude to have a stable job working easy hours etc etc etc.
It’s absolutely terrifying to let go of comfort, even when it feels like my eyeballs may bleed and I may overturn a desk at any second. I feel weak typing that. I have been a rule follower, a “play it safer” for my whole life. I have been a procrastinator and avoider too.
When does it become more painful to stay than to go?
This Monday I intend to put the plans in place for the bigger change. The grand gesture of this part of my life. The move forward towards new things and away from the “I definitely don’t want to be doing this today.”
By Friday my plans will have formed and have solid dates attached. It is time.
I cannot wait to take to the open road.
I recently went to Vidcon, a convention for Youtubers, and it definitely gave me a totally new respect for the site and those who use it well. It seems fitting that the latest Career One-On-One is of a Youtuber /// Alex from HRH Collection
A good quote for letting go and looking for the new /// Quote of the Week at Little Reminders of Love
Thoughts about accepting what is even if you don’t like it, or trying something new /// Choosing Your Train Car
The cutest project, can I do it with my own face? /// DIY Photo Frames
I thought I was brave bungee jumping at the fair… oh no /// Falling 233 Metres from the World’s Highest Bungee Jump
Just follow The Other Kate Berry already! /// One, Two, Three, Four, Five
This looks delicious, and I don’t generally like angel food cake /// Raspberry Mocha Angel Food Cake
image via pinterest