Changing My Perspective

Sunday, March 30, 2014

jump for joyFriday morning I decided to conduct a quarterly review. More on the actual review later, but for now I want to talk about perception. Because before I put pen to paper, when I was thinking first about goals for next quarter, I thought I hadn’t accomplished much during the first. I figured second quarter I could make up for what I lacked in the first and I’d figure it out from there.

Imagine my surprise when the first question was: What went well? And I had things flying from the pen to the page. I thought I would list maybe 3 or 4, but I kept remembering more. Oh yeah, I completed my goal of going to Palm Springs for my birthday AND I had my wonderful guy by my side, I not only signed up for the gym, but I started going on hikes with my guy and being so much more active than I have been in a really long time. Old Corey would NEVER have suggested a hike as something she wanted to do with her weekend. Unless it was at Torrey Pines but that didn’t happen often in the past.

As I was writing these things down, and more and more just kept coming to mind, I wondered why I was feeling so far behind. Why I have been feeling so unsuccessful lately. I had been feeling like I was failing in exercising because I didn’t go to the gym three times  (I ended up doing just that AND taking a yoga class AND a pole dance class this week… so, no failing here) and because I haven’t woken up early enough to go to the gym before work and because I hadn’t gone through all the machines yet. There were just so many reasons why I wasn’t doing enough and I needed to do more. And that’s not just with exercise.

I recently took on the habit of flossing. My metaphorical dentist is finally breathing a sigh of relief. And I started my flossing habit at night, and then I realized that at night I get kind of tired and want as little in my routine as possible before bed, so I switched to morning. And I’ve been really good, but still I wonder if I shouldn’t be flossing two times a day or if night would be better so things don’t just stay between my teeth for 8 hours…

When I got to the end of my list of things that had gone well in the first quarter I took a second to really think about what I wanted out of the second. I thought I wanted my second quarter to be a list of things to complete, boxes to check off. But I realized that if I continued making my goals this way, I would continue focusing on what wasn’t being done and how I was failing.

I realized in doing this quarterly review that I need a perspective shift, I need a new angle. I need to enjoy. Enjoy life, enjoy the times not checking something off of my list, enjoy breathing and being and having fun. I go through periods of my life where I forget to have fun. Where it all becomes about checking things off my list and somehow feeling successful.

But if that’s all I focus on, if I don’t take time to enjoy my wins, big and small, if I don’t take time to enjoy, and laugh and not take things so frickin seriously, then I’ll just have a list of checked off tasks and I’ll be sitting on the brink of the next quarter wondering why I don’t feel like anything has changed.

I’m not 100% sure on the solution, but I know it’s going to have to be grounded in gratitude. There’s going to need to be more time for fun. And my language about my projects is going to have to change. Instead of having to go to the gym, I get to go to the gym. I get to work out and feel stronger which is a big goal of mine. I GET to. Not I HAVE to.

I get to work on my blanket that I’ve been crocheting. I don’t have to. No one is paying me to make that thing, it’s purely for my entertainment. But I rarely feel entertained when I think about it.

It’s time for a mind shift, back to gratitude, back to celebration of wins big and small. It’s time to enjoy it, whatever it may be. Take it in and enjoy it.


photo credit: __MaRiNa__ via photopin cc


  • Melissa

    Ahhh I need to start flossing! haha, I never really picked up that habit. Great post. It’s making me inspired to get started on my own goals.

    • admin_corey

      Flossing has been something on my mind for years that I hadn’t gotten the hang of. My excuse was that I already took too much time getting ready (which honestly it really doesn’t take me that long I’m just lazy about that kind of stuff). A couple of the problems were, 1) no reminders or accountability and 2) not liking the floss I use to use. I really like the satin ribbon kind a lot and that makes it a bit easier/less painful in the beginning. I also downloaded an app called Lift and it’s all about getting you into a new habit. you decide on the ones you want and then you can check them off each day that you do them. other people post comments about it (less necessary for flossing, but good for daily gratitude or working out) and it’s sometimes fun to see what others are doing and it really works for me because I love checking things off lists.

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